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Dear Officer Barry


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Dear Officer Barry

It has been 2 days since I left Yonder There Oaks. I found a teddy bear in the gutter on my way out of town. He looked very lonely lying there all by himself so I made him my friend and named him Juicy. Sometimes he tries to escape. I had to duck-tape him to my hip. At night he would chew through the tape so I had to start stapling him instead. Today Juicy was looking at me weird so I had to cut out his eyes. I felt bad that he wouldn’t be able to see, so I glued them on his belly. I was going to put them on his legs, but I had to cut those off too to deter him from escaping. I put them in my top drawer for now.

Just so you know, all sharp objects were nowhere to be found in my house, so I had to go to thrift shops and get some new ones.